Breakfast Tacos and A Jewish Boy

I MOVED TO AUSTIN!! It's been a long tumultuous road to get here but now that I have, I'm loving it! The first week was pretty rough but fun nonetheless. Excited to have networked with some folks that have asked me to sing at a couple of events. Staying focused on the prize! I literally feel like I've not slept well in months but it feels good to be in some semblance of a home.



It's interestng to be in a new city learning the dynamics of it's inhabitants and figuring your way around. We live pretty close to downtown so we're not far from anything really. Austinites have proven to be weird but they are some of the most warm and friendly people I have ever met.



Philadelphia has it's Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich, Chicago has it's Deep Dish Pizza and Austin has it's...Breakfast Taco? Apparently Austin is known for being the breakfast taco city of choice. So far I've sampled breakfast tacos from two locations made famous for their breakfast tacos, Torchy's Tacos and Taco Express. Torchy's has a "Taco of the Month" and last month's was a Chicken Fried Steak Taco. It was sooo good! Can't wait to try other places!



The best part of my move to Austin by far has to be someone new and wonderful. Last week I prayed that God would send someone to my life that was for me. Someone I could relate to and who would get me and vice versa. This is what I mentioned in an online dating profile: "Ideally, I'd love to be in love with cute lil cub that inspires and motivates me as I tend to do that with and for my friends and family. Looks-wise, I like nice eyes and full lips. I'm a good kisser and love a guy who can match me smooch-for-smooch. lol... Other than that, be interesting and fun. Have a goal in life, be spontaneous and love to laugh!!" This is my new guy to a tee...literally! He is an awesome Jewish guy from Dallas. I didn't expect something wonderful to blossom from a friendly meeting but it has and it feels amazing. Hey D! ;)

Sometimes God puts people in each others at the exact moment that they are meant to be in each others lives. I believe that God sent Danny to mine just in time.

It Was Beautiful...

Love isn’t ever supposed to be easy and nobody ever said it was. Like a drug, it makes you lose your head, takes you to another place psychologically and most dangerously, love makes you throw caution to the wind.

Recently, I decided to do the exact opposite of what I would normally do in almost all situations in my life. From my friendships to my recent relationship, I’ve done the opposite of what my consistently cautionary mind has told me to do. In most cases, the results have been surprisingly pleasant. But instinct is something God gave us, I believe, as a way of keeping us from an even bleaker or challenging situation. When instinct kicks in and you hear that little voice’s warning, I’ve found it’s always best to listen. Having listened, I learned a difficult yet very valuable lesson.

Christmas Eve, my Mom and I went to a Chinese restaurant and as in most Chinese restaurants; we received fortune cookies at the end of our meal. Mine read, “Love always and deeply.” And boy, do I ever. I’d like to think that I’ve been described as a good boyfriend. Mostly for the reason that I like to please the person that I’m with and I love to see them feel good about themselves and about us. I was, once again, that person in this relationship.

At first the feelings were mutual and it seemed like a dream. Throwing caution to the wind, I let myself become overwhelmed by that love. I told myself to live in the moment and enjoy what I was experiencing. Not an ideal situation for someone who loves deeply.

It was beautiful though. For a split second, I saw the life I wanted to live. I was with someone that saw my hang-ups and accepted them. Suddenly, someone saw me as a human being worthy to love and be loved in return. We had some beautiful moments together. Then as suddenly as it came, it went. Here I was head over heels in love with someone that I thought felt the same only to discover that they were unsure of what they wanted. He didn’t want to hurt me for the sake of our friendship but too many things had already been said. I understand where he's coming from but I've wasted too much time already. I refuse to squander any opportunity to love and be loved.

I never expected to have to cut my losses but loving someone who doesn’t love you back is too difficult and hurtful to live through more than once. In the end, I knew it wouldn’t be a healthy relationship to be in but the heart wants what it wants.

My heart is slowly healing and I am grateful to have learned a few things about myself in the midst of the whirlwind romance. I believe in love and dream of the blessings that it can bring. And I believe that God and the Universe want me to be loved. It’s just not my time.

Coming Out..

The recent suicides of several gay kids has really gotten me thinking about my life and choices I've made to stay silent. I've wasted so much time worrying about what other people will think if I make certain declarations about my opinions on certain subjects. I've chosen to remain silent about certain things out of respect for family, friends and fans. However, I now feel it is selfish of me to live a closeted life while there are those that took their lives because they feared being bullied for who God made them.

I was severely bullied from 5th grade all the way to high school. Having attended a private Christian college I faced much adversity simply for being the outgoing, expressive person God created me to be. I've been the subject of torment and religious persecution at the hands of men who considered themselves righteous simply for standing behind a pulpit. For more than 20 years, I've been bullied in some way shape or form based on the assumption that I was gay. And once I was honest with my tormentors, the bullying got worse. I have attempted suicide several times but thankfully, never succeeded.

It hasn't all been bad though. It's just time to live my life fully in the truth of who I feel God has made me. I'm gay, ya'll. Love it or hate it, it won't change it! Just know that I am and will always be just Leo. The same fun-loving guy that believes in God and has faith that one day all things will work together for good for those that love the Lord, regardless of age, race, gender and sexual orientation. I love you guys and God bless.

A Different Me by Leo Laredo

I thought I'd post some of my music since a lot of people have been asking about it recently. Here it is!

A Different Me by Leo Laredo

The Invention of Scrappy Leo

So much has happened in the past few months... More changes in friendships. A new job and voila...a new passion! I now work at Archiver's, a photo memory store but it's oh so much more! It's basically scrapbook heaven...lol. I've had the pleasure of meeting so many people from beginners to advanced scrappers. The best part is being able to filter my creative flow through a different medium. I've stopped singing and taking pictures (for the most part) and after all of the crazy changes I've been through, I've finally found something that I can use as an outlet.

It's interesting the things that we put ourselves through in order to get to a place where we finally understand who we truly are. Some of who I've become is jaded about relationships yet hopeful because of relationships that embrace unconditional love. There are people in my life that are truly deserving of wonderful things. These people don't ask me to be anyone different than who I am right now. I finally realize, after eliminating toxic friendships, that a good friendship is not based on conditions but rather true acceptance of who a person is, inside and out.

The pressure has been eased a bit and we definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel a lil more clear now. So we're thankful for that.

Surprisingly, there are some new developments happening with my music and I may have an announcement by this summer. We'll see in a few weeks.

Home

Well, my Mom's finally out of the hospital. She spent a week in recovery and a week and a half in a rehabilitation hospital. Her knee replacement surgery went well. She had a lot of pain at different points but soldiered through the hard times brilliantly. She will be in therapy three times a week for the next few weeks. Ulitmately she is much better and glad to be home. Home.

There are several definitions for the word, Home, found in several online dictionaries. The first one describes home as a place "where you live at a particular time." Another definition describes home as a "family, a social unit living together." I like that. My favorite is the definition that describes home as "a place where something began and flourished." Home.

One of my favorite songs from a musical is "Home" written by Charlie Smalls, originally sung by Stephanie Mills on Broadway and phenomenally reinterpreted for the movie by Diana Ross in the role of Dorothy in The Wiz. The song hits "home" for me when she talks about having found direction and wanting to "convince time to slow up giving me enough time to grow up." In the end, she realizes that she's learned to look inside her heart to find a world full of love, like yours, like mine, like home. It's a beautiful song and she really does an amazing job singing it.

The word "home" has always meant a lot to me. There are so many songs written about home and what it means. Most everyone can relate to having a home, wanting a home or needing a home. But it's the sentiment behind the word that moves me. It has been written about in many musicals including In The Heights (When You're Home), Bombay Dreams (The Journey Home), Songs for a New World (Flying Home) and another of my favorites, The Rocky Horror Picture Show (I'm Going Home). It's also been sung about by Marc Broussard, Michael Buble, Daughtry, Foo Fighters, Sheryl Crow, Dixie Chicks and countless other artists.

In 2007, a fantastic new songwriter, Scott Alan, released a song titled "Home", sung by the brilliant Shoshana Bean, that gave the word and sentiment a new light. He writes, "Home is where the heart is meant to be, you'll always have a home inside of me. No matter where the journey leads you, if your path leads to some place new, you'll always have a home in this heart of mine."

I hope and pray that you have a home inside of someone's heart. Mushy, I know...but you can't deny it's what we all pray someday we'll find. What does "home" mean to you?

Scott Alan's music is available on iTunes and CDbaby. You can also learn more about Scott and his music at www.scottalan.net

Drowning Nightmare...

It's 6:30 in the morning and I basically forced my self to wake up because of the dream I was having. It wasn't a bad dream to start. I was in a collegiate classroom environment alone and was constructing a saltwater aquarium of sorts. It was to display several forms of sealife demonstrating something or other and then I was to show my findings...or something. I don't know why but I started putting in these large sea creatures like starfish and then these other creatures that would feed off of them and at the end I had about 6 large shell-like creatures in the tank. Here's the catch, there wasn't any water in the tank. Turns out I was constructing all of this on a weird corkboard of sorts and then I put the whole thing into a tank. As I went to the front of the tank I discovered that one of the major pieces had fallen off and died. Suddenly the tank turns into a HUGE aquarium complete with scuba man and all. Apparently, I go nuts and look for locks to make sure the aquarium doesn't bust and get inside of the space that I'm in. I find some latches and shut them to make sure nothing ecapes the tank...including the scuba man. At first, it looked like the Scuba man was trying to help me and he was struggling to find a way into the space I was in. Suddenly, I AM the scuba man...drowning. That's when my subconscious man said, "WAKE UP!".

It's weird to have a dream like this especially since my best friend loves saltwater tanks and has 6 of them. She's literally about to get an octupus for crying out loud. The other strange reason for my having a drowning dream is because I love swimming and part of loving it is the fact that I get to act like a merman and stay underwater as long as I can. Another strange aspect to my having had this dream is the fact that at age 7 or 8, I actually did almost drown.

I was at the water's edge of a boat ramp getting three lil bait fish wet in hopes of reviving them. I was trying to perform a miracle. I had told my Dad that I was going to pray over them to bring them back to life. My Dad and his friends were packing up the boat and car, it was nightfall so it was already dark outside. As I inched my way closer and closer to the waters edge, I slipped on the algae into the water and proceeded to struggle to stay afloat. As I was going under, I remember vividly hearing my aunt's voice saying, "If you stay still, you'll float.". She had said this when we were swimming at a neighborhood pool. She was not actually there at the marina. So, I stayed still and sure enough I rose to the top. I then called for my Dad, who cannot swim at all. When he heard my voice, he came running and without a thought for his own safety, he jumped head-first into the water. He reached for me and we both floated there waiting for his friends to fish us out of the water. Which they did by throwing us a rope. I think another friend of Dad's also jumped in to help us knowing that Dad was not a swimmer.

I don't know why I have these weird dreams that bring back memories that are more than 25 years old. That memory actually brings back a flood of childhood memories that I'd rather not think about.

After having weird dreams like this, I often go to an online dream dictionary to find out what the heck it all means. I first looked up Aquarium: To see an aquarium in your dream, signifies that you have acknowledged your emotions but have not yet confronted them. Thus, it may refer to your unconscious thoughts or repressed sexual desires. Also, you may feel that your life is going no where or that you feel it is going in circles. Alternatively, the aquarium may indicate that you need to calm down and set some time for yourself to relax and unwind.

The bold hit me like a ton of bricks! It's exactly where I'm at right now! Second thing I looked up was Drowning: To dream that you are drowning, indicates that you are feeling overwhelmed by emotions or repressed issues that are coming back to haunt you. You may be proceeding too quickly in trying to discover your unconscious thoughts. You should proceed more cautiously and slowly. If you drown to death, then is refers to an emotional rebirth. If your survive the drowning, then a waking relationship or situation will ultimately survive the turmoil. To see someone drowning in your dream, suggests that you are becoming too deeply involved in something that is beyond your control. Alternatively, it represents a sense of loss in your own identity. You are unable to differentiate who you are anymore. (Insert Twilight Show Theme Song Here)

That last little bit REALLY struck a chord with me. I'm very much in a weird place of trying to get out, struggling to breath, fighting to find a sense of self. There are other people in my life who know who they are and have come to terms with who and how God has made them. I still haven't but pray that I will soon.

It probably doesn't help that I had my headphones on while I was sleeping and was listening to the soundtrack of Pan's Labryinth. (Insert creepy music and weird horny fawn here).

Over Waiting

I've known for a few years that my cousin, Daniel Garcia Ordaz is a poet, teacher and linguist. However, I'd never read, heard or seen any of his work. He recently visited Houston and his family had dinner with our family. He came bearing the gift of word in the form of his new book, "Know What I'm Sayin', Poetry and Drama by Daniel Garcia Ordaz". Let me just say right now...It's good! You Know What I'm Sayin'? (Second Edition) is a celebration of the common experience of language and culture, transfiguring time and place and juxtaposing the politics of urban hip-hop America with the sociology of rural deep South Texas, a retelling of ancient history sung by a contemporary voice.

The writer of the foreword encourages the reader to become the speaker and to read Daniel's work out loud. So I did! There I sat in my room with my princess of a chihuahua, Lola and in my best Def Poetry Jam voice...I read aloud.

I LOVED IT!! I've always been a HUGE fan of poetry. Always have been. My Mom and Dad always encouraged me to write and to express my thoughts, ideas and feelings. As most of you know, that led me down the path of becoming a songwriter. What most people don't know about me is that I'm also a poet! Whether sung or spoken, I've always loved the sound of words.

And so...inspired by my friend, Naima's words to me, I wrote this lil piece of spoken word. I intend to use it in the new one-man show that I'm writing. Feel free to snap in approval at the end...lol

OVER WAITING by Leo Laredo, June 2009

I know what you’re thinking

Aren’t we over this yet?

My friends say bump it, squash it

Build a bridge and get over it

And I’m like a’ight cool, I can do that

But first, they gotta see what it’s like to be angry

When someone hurts you deep inside

Takes away your pride,

Takes you for a ride

Cause they mess with your brain

Driving you a lil insane

Cause you can’t see your way to…get over it.

So I write a lil song

To make me feel better,

To help me heal faster

To bring the peace quicker.

To manifest release

To create a show-piece

That’ll clue you in on

Who I am

What I am and

Why I am.

Cause where I am is in suburbia

Without even trying I’ve been led to believe

That bohemia is dead

And yet, what’s in my head

Had a voice, made some noise

And now it sits there in the sub-urban part of my head

Waiting

To get over it.

Thank you. :)

Bionic Mom

Today is the second day my Mom has been in the hospital following her 2nd knee replacement surgery. This time it's the left knee. She has been in and out of hospitals for the majority of my life. She's had cysts removed, a hysterectomy and several other surgical procedures that make me queasy and weak in the knees.

For the last 10 years she's had lupus. Lupus is basically, the opposite of AIDS. Where AIDS doesn't make enough anti-bodies, Lupus makes too many which causes them to fight each other and not infection. The fighting causes swelling in several parts of the body including knees, elbows and hands. Because of that Mom has been in and out of the hospital with Lupus relapses at least 2 to 3 times a year for the past 5 years.

If my Mom is having surgery, then my Dad has always done what he had to do (postpone work, travel, etc. ) to get back to Houston for Mom's surgery. I have also always been there. My sister works full-time so she comes after work. That being said, I have familiarized myself with several of Houston's hospitals specifically in the Katy area. Mom was even one of the first of 10 patients at the emergency room of the new Katy Memorial Hospital. It's a beautiful facility.

The service and dedication of the nurses and staff at Christus St. Catherine has been the best we've experienced so far. Mom has been very well attended to and they have been very kind and gentle in their treatment of her. Thank you to Aneela, Elsa and especially Michelle. You guys were great! Big Props to Tom, the Nurse Manager, for finally getting an IV in Mom after 7 tries (Mom has weak vains).

In retrospect, I've always been a caretaker of people in general. I was there for my sister when she had a biopsy done on a cyst. I gave her a backrub that helped "move" her, if you know what I mean. lol.. I also cared for my cousin, Robyn, who has also been in and out of the hospital several times in the past few years. Caring for my Mother has become second nature to me. Whether she's in or out of the hospital, I've ALWAYS taken care of her.

One of my very close friends, P.J., is a nurse and I am so proud of how he's advanced and the way he's such a great caretaker, even having taken care of me on several occasions. As much as I love taking care of people, I don't think I could ever do what he does. It takes a patient, strong, and compassionate individual to care for someone without knowing them. Watching Michelle and the other nurses care for my Mother with compassion and strength has been inspirational and moving.

Of course, I've been here almost every step of the way since she was released from the recovery room. Today, I held my Mother up as the physical therapist helped her take her first two steps on her new knee. I helped move her as she wanted to lie on her right side. I spoon-fed her ice and jello to help her regain her strength.

I love my Mom. I would do anything for her. She's always been a Super-Mom to me, even without her new bionic knees.

Saying Goodbye to IH

I've been re-evaluating my life and priorities and had to make some tough decisions after being faced with the ugly truth of what being an indie Christian artist means. A part of my foray into the world of Indie Christian music was being a part of an organization called Indieheaven. It is an organization that supports and educates indie Christian artists. As a member of Indieheaven for the past three years, I have championed it’s cause and told everyone I know about it. Every radio show, church and special event that I’ve sung at, I have promoted Indieheaven in my own way.

There have been so many artists that have inspired and influenced me in one way or another by being a part of Indieheaven. Those people include Sean Smith, Brad Reynolds, Tory Dardar and Broken Vessels, Mile 7, Bill Petty, Drew Davidsen, Becky Carey, Tricia Zody, Cynthia Miller, Anita Ferrer, Larry French, Harry Offutt, Sandi Simon, Mindy Boyd, Jamie Thietten, Katrina Stone and most recently Zach Dodd, Gabriel de la Garza, Stevvi Alexander and Naima Johnston. There are so many others I know I’m forgetting that have touched me and for that I am truly grateful. Being a part of IH has taught me so much about the industry and about people. We’ve had some amazing times on the IH Network and it has been an honor to call these people "family" for the past three years.

Having been asked asked why I'm leaving IH, I've been faced with asking myself the same question and making sure that I'm satisfied with the answer. I want to make it very clear, before anyone else feels the need to answer that question, that I am not disgruntled. I am not leaving because “I didn’t make the Top 20.”, because I have made the Top 20 and was on it for several months in 2008. I am not leaving because “I didn’t get enough help or handouts as an artist.” because I did. Keith Mohr has been very generous in his counsel and by making me a staff pick early on in my time with IH. I am not leaving because, “No one’s listening to my music.”, because they are…Since the inception of the Top Songs Chart; I've had the #1 Blues Song, #1 Southern Gospel Song, #1 Inspirational Song, #2 Inspirational Song and #2 Pop Song. And finally, I am not leaving because “I didn’t win a Momentum award.” What I’ve come to realize about these accomplishments and accolades is that they mean nothing. They’re just things. Even being nominated, turns out, meant nothing.

I think that I’ve seen a lot of the world in the indie-stry. For the most part, I’ve always been a goody-two-shoes, more naïve than street smart. That is until I saw the underbelly of the beast. Things are never what they appear to be when they appear to be perfect or Godly. I’ve seen this in churches and Christian organizations and yes, in Godly men that I looked up to.

I would rather work in the secular industry because at least there I know I’ll be dealing with “honest liars” and not wolves in pastor’s clothing. I am no angel, by any means, but I can spot a shady character from a mile away and I’d rather not get taken emotionally, financially and spiritually again.

When a friend stops acting like a friend and uses disparaging words in a hurtful and demeaning way, it is time to say enough. I've struggled my whole life with certain issues and when someone does the very thing that has eaten away at the core of my being, it's time to say enough.

What happens when the president of a Christian organization, who says all he cares about is the ministry, calls you out on your issues when shared in confidence? What happens when in a confrontation he chastises you for making observations he didn't like? What happens when a gay joke is no longer a joke but an insult?

There is nothing worse than a bully. In fact, I wrote a song about it. I refuse to sit by and watch people call themselves ministers while being bullies behind the scenes. Time and again, I've been said to want attention and not be singing for the right reason and the truth is my reasons were selfish. I sing because when I do it's the closest I feel to God. I've never felt like a minister or a preacher even though I've had alot to say at times. The ministry is the icing on the cake to me, not the whole enchilada.

So until I feel the call again, I am saying goodbye to Indieheaven and the world of Indie Christian Music.

I am, however, working on some new music and yes, scripts for a one-man show and a show for a small ensemble. It's funny how God gives you what you need for what He wants you to be doing at the time you're supposed to be doing it in.

Forgive and Forget

In relationships, I have always been the instigator. I'm the one that makes the phone calls to see how things are going, to catch up on the latest news and to make plans for get-togethers or events. Anytime I've made a friend and they've said, "keep in touch!"...I actually do keep in touch! With all of today's technology and modern-day conveniences, there's no excuse not to stay in touch which led me to a sad and startling discovery.

I was hanging out with a friend of mine who is hard to get a hold of and he was texting. He's a big texter as am I. Within the timespan of an hour, he must've ignored almost 4 calls that came through. I answered two calls that came through for me. We weren't working or doing anything important.

I have another friend who is incredibly busy and is also a texting fiend. On average she recieves about 10 text messages an hour, several emails and numerous phone calls all from different people. Her phone is constantly letting her know that she's "Got some mail!" in 4 part harmony. The difference between her and my other friend is that she ALWAYS returns the call, text or email. ALWAYS. Now, there've been times when she simply turns her phone off for a few days and unplugs herself from the matrix. But she always let's me know beforehand that she's going to be unplugging. Granted, I'm more important to her than most people as I am her best friend.

Let me mention this though...the other friend is also one of my best friends! Wowza! I've had to learn with certain friends, even close friends, that they are not phone people. Or they don't have that personality trait that puts "calling your friends" in the list of important priorities. There was a time when I would get very upset and threaten to end friendships over a lack of communication. I used to quote the break-up argument from "Friends" where Ross tells Rachel, "I'm tired of having a relationship with your answering machine!"

However, I've always been taught to forgive people. Forgive them of things that they may not know they're doing. Of course, we all have a choice to either let them have a pass and to have a conversation about it or to end the relationship. I've done both.

There are some friends now that I refuse to call. It's too convenient to let them off the hook that easily. These are the ones I've had that conversation with. Some have now become Facebook communicators. Apparently it's easier than a phone conversation. But hey, I'll take it! Others have disappeared altogether, literally as if they never existed.

I said good-bye to a friendship that was wonderful for about a year and then was very hurt by how I was ignored even while wanting to share some success with them. In my heart, I truly let go of them and never wanted to look back. Now, they're back and wanting to, it seems, flaunt they're new success in my face. I was a part of setting the foundation for that success. However, the way in which I was ignored and cast off was hurtful and helped in setting the way I handle friendships now.

I've become a cut-and-paster. If someone chooses not to stay in touch with me, for whatever reason, after giving them the benefit of the doubt twice, I'll cut them out of my life. At that point, it's up to them to make contact and stay in contact. I've had some success in bringing awareness to certain friends about their lack of communication and they've changed. Others have faded into a distant memory.

That's what I'd thought had happened with these friends. I've been conflicted as to whether or not to rekindle that friendship. After thinking about it and reflecting on our brief interaction, it seemed to be a one-way street again. This time, they're not interested in my life or what I've been up to. All they seem to care about is playing the game of "Look at me now!" I hate that game. It's no fun unless everybody wins.

And so in the famous words of Lauren Conrad, "The only thing, really, that there is to do is to forgive and forget. So I really do, I want to forgive you and I want to forget you."

Dreaming Young

Last night I went to a friend's graduation/birthday party. She was one of my voice students in 2003 and 6 years later, she's 18 and majoring in Vocal Performance. Having come from a musical family, she has a beautifully classical voice. I'm very proud of her.

I was hesitant about being in a room full of 18/19 year olds and adult strangers that I didn't know. Her Mom, an AMAZING soprano, assured me that there was nothing to worry about and that I'd have fun. In normal Leo-style, I was myself and realized there was nothing to worry about since most of these kids would've been my friends in high school. They were the theatre crowd. The Drama Dorks, And boy, did it feel good to be able to dork out singing to karaoke tracks of hit songs from Wicked, Chicago and RENT.

These kids are super-talented. I liked glancing at each of them every so often and imagining who they'll be when they're my age. Four of the kids stood out to me as being determined to reach their dreams...even if they didn't know what they were yet. There was Lauren, the guest of honor at the party. She has a beautiful voice and is an awesome actress. Then there was Taylor, who's singing is effortless and not to mention she's cute as a button. The boy of the bunch is Blake. He has that infectious type of personality that'll win him friends as well as fans. Finally, Autumn, with her beautiful face and statuesque frame. Immediately, my mind went to all of the photo shoot scenarios I could put her in and I prayed that I had just found my new muse. Seriously, this girl excudes Old Hollywood Glamour. She can't help it!

I told myself that if presented with the opportunity, I'd find a way to have a "shoulda-coulda-woulda" talk with them. I really wanted to impart the wisdom of making the right choices when you're in the thick of it. I let them know how important getting your education is and how staying focused is really the key to finishing school.

Looking back at my life, there are so many things I'd do differently if presented with the same choices. A lot of the harmful circumstances in my life came as a result of choices I'd made thinking of other people and not of myself. So, I felt like I needed to let them know to think about what they want for their lives before thinking of what others might want for them. For example, my Dad wanted me to be an Opera Singer, Mom wanted be to be a recording artist. I want/ed to be an actor...singer...writer.

My point is to follow your own path. I spent years adhering to what others thought was best for me instead of trusting my instinct which was telling me what I was good at, what I'd excel in and what I'd succeed at. How did I go from being a Music Major with a 2.5 GPA to a Theater Arts Major on the Dean's List and not realize this was the Universe's way of saying "SING OUT, LOUISE!" Nothing has ever moved me like the power of music and theater. When the right actor meets the magic note voiced through the perfect lyric, life is created. I was on the right path, I just needed to pay closer attention!

A great example of someone who follows their own path is my sister. When she was little, she'd mentioned wanting to be a lawyer and she was a terrific gymnast. But at some point in her seconday education, she decided she wanted to be an account. Now she's a junior accountant at a successful accounting firm that has wine tastings for people's birthdays and celebrated the end of tax season with a margarita party. Her path led her to what she was good at and would succeed in.

It all boils down to how hard you're willing to work for it. What will it take to make you want it enough to work that much harder for it. Less than 10 years ago, I was working my butt off, going from show to rehearsal to show to rehearsal, literally living my dream. I was given the opportunity to stay on with a local musical theatre company and decided not to. Today, that company has grown and takes very good care of their actors. I made the wrong choice. I wasn't patient enough to wait for the spotlight to come to me, I wanted to go to it. That's not how it works. All we can do is set the stage, be prepared and be ready for when the spotlight comes to us.

Gourmet Hot Water

Today my Mom and I went to one of my favorite grocery stores to get some fresh food which can be more expensive but is tastier and worth it in the end. We went to H.E.B.'s Central Market here in Katy. It's a rather new store in that it's been open for less than two years. Our small town is booming and new retailers are springing up all over!

That being said, since I was a child, I've never understood how one store can sell the same item as another store and sell it for a higher price. It's not until now that I understand that it costs money to have a sushi-chef, a tortilla-maker and a pastry chef practically on-call, every day at your store. It also costs money to sell imported wine and beer as well as have an a la carte olive bar, cereal bar, whole grain bar, and candy bar. Don't even get me started on their amazing deli, stinky cheese and all. My favorite thing about this store has to be their gourmet foods deli. You can get the same entire meal at H.E.B.'s Central Market that you would get at a high-end restaurant only for a less expensive price. It's awesome!

However, as I paid the cashier for my "fresh" New England Clam Chowder, I realized why I don't shop here more often. It also costs money to hire snooty cashiers that turn their nose up at you if your paying cash because (in French, English and Valley Girl accent) "paying cash is so mid-'90's!" Actually I used four quarters to pay the .86 cents tacked on to the $18.oo price tag of my items. I thought she'd have a heart attack when she took one look at them as though I'd just put dog poo in her hands. Being human, my instinct is to react with an attitude however being me, I immediately attempted to kill her with kindness.

"I like your glasses!", I lied. They looked like something out of an '80's movie. What I really wanted to say was, "Hey lady, Estelle Getty called; she wants her glasses back!" I smiled stifling my internal laughter knowing that I was putting one over on her.

We walked out of the store and to my car and I was still a little miffed at our less-than-nice cashier. As we pulled out of the parking lot, I noticed a man in a very rusted-out Nissan very much like the one we had when I was in middle school. He was having trouble starting it. Here I was focusing on someone who was probably having a bad day and almost missing someone who was in need. Suddenly, my gourmet soup was just flavored hot water.

Youtube Obsession

I love Youtube. In fact, I have my own youtube channel and have some fun videos up there for the world to see and ridicule. www.youtube.com/leolaredomusic I'll be starting another one soon that'll be exclusively for blog/vlogging purposes.

Youtube is one of my daily visits and I'm always on the lookout for funny videos or crazy moments caught on video...like this one...

So Funny! Good thing she didn't actually shoot the gun while being scared out of her mind! Could've been dangerous.

But what I really love finding are performers in the musical theatre genre that move and inspire me. That's how I found Scott Alan, who's music is amazing and can be found on iTunes and CDbaby. Another awesome video artist and songwriter is Shelly Bort. Her lyrics are amazing and her musical style is exactly what I look for in a song. I can't wait for her to come out with an album. There's also Kooman and Dimond whose music has become my new obsession. So go to youtube.com and search for them. They're amazing!

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

Server, Receptionist, Pots and Pans Salesman, Telemarketer, Bun Toaster, Photographer, Actor, Preschool Teacher, Speech Teacher, Drama and Music Teacher, Group Sales Manager, Clothing Retail Salesman, Stylist, Singing Telegram Deliverer, Custom Jewelry Designer...

McDonalds, T.G.I.Fridays, Old Navy, Kenneth Cole, Image Nation, etc.

These are occupations, job titles and companies I have worked for in the past 15 years. I am once again reinventing myself. I've been a singer since I was three but what I'm good at it and love and have a passion for is photography. I like shooting people and fashion the most. It's fun and can be very rewarding.

But what I've had a secret desire to do is wrote musical theatre. I was in my Aunt's pool tonight when suddenly these lyrics came to me. The idea of looking back at life and seeing what I could've done and who I could've been and putting it in a musical sounds awesome to me. What if you could live your life over and tell yourself to tell off the bully, or to eat healthier, floss and join the football team. What would you tell your kid-self to do differently?